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It's a nifty test... I loved it... well How could I not...
Username: Personality cocktail From Go-Quiz.com
So I know that I haven't had much to do with this space or any space for that matter but I was going through some stiuff and realized that I need to get bacck into the swing of things. Merry Holidays to you all.
April.
So I obviously have not been up to this as of lateWell I am thiking of starting to do this again. I have had some problems in dealing with my depression. I have started to cut my arms again and get very sad quite often. I feel as though I am bogged down by the chasity of depression. I have nothing that is wrong in my life, in fact for the first time in a long time things seem to be heading the right way.
I am working on myself, seeing a therapist, taking meds and even scrapbooking my journey through this.
I am visiting my partners family in Edmonton. Wow it feels weird.
I would love to write more and get into detail about how I feel and what is going on but I REALLY REALLY REALLY have to pee. Morals and ValuesREMEMBER WHEN PEOPLE USED THE WORDS PLEASE AND THANK YOU?! REMEMBER WHEN PEOPLE THOUGHT OF OTHERS?! Manners are more important then people think it is. Where have they gone? They are more then “just a polite societal” thing. Sure we are raised to say these things as children. What makes people stop as they become adults? Why is it that people forget to show other people a little gratitude? Gratitude goes farther then anything else in the world. With LOVE and GRATITUDE we can change the face of the Earth. Children are being raised focusing not on the simple morals and values, but for material things such as outer beauty and nice stuff. What has happened to the core values that I grew up with? What happened to thinking of others? What happened to showing a little appreciation for others? Where did these things go? Am I all alone in this? An update.I know I haven't been on here very much in the past few months. But my priorities changed. It's not that I don't want to come on here and write and share my thoughts and feelings but I have been busy in other things. My life is full and busy. I needed to make time for everyone in it. New things in the land of me...
So that's it. Some new things about little ol' me. I think I want to start writing in here again, but we will see. I have a new msn addy for those I miss. I will go around and leave it for you all. I loves you. April
Gratitude RoundupI owe my life to AA and CA. If it were not for these 12 step fellowships I would be dead. My life has improved because of these places. To those who don't know where I go when I use and drink. I will let you know. I would drink until all my money was gone. And then when that was all gone I would drink and smoke up yours too. I would lose my children, not because I didn't love them but because my addiction would come first. They would get in my way. Then after I hurt everyone around me and lost all their trust in me I would go and live on the streets. Not only would I lose all material things I would lose my self. Self respect, self esteem, self worth. I would however gain a hardened heart, shame, remorse and pain that you could never comprehend. For I am different then most drinkers and drug users. I WILL NOT stop if that gate is opened. I went to a Round Up this weekend. Calgary's 25th Gratitude weekend. I am grateful for AA, Dr. Bob and Bill W. Thank you. Thank you for giving me my life back. For giving me the opportunity to have a life worth living. A letter to youJune 6, 1990. Well today has a different meaning to me. For some this is the devil’s day. For others it is a day of luck. For me it is a day of mourning and remembrance. It has been 16 years since my brother took his life. I will never know the pain that he must have felt to do what he did. Never know what went through his head. How heavy his heart must have been. I remember his death and funeral more then I remember his life. I have to fight to remember his smile. The memories I have of him are small and scattered. But they are mine. I think my kids would have loved you as much as I did big brother. I think you would have loved them too. I like to believe that we would have been great friends. I love you and miss you terribly. Your baby sister. April The story of a Monkey... By MeWell there once was this monkey. And this monkey wanted to be a penguin. On the outside he looked and smelt and talked like a monkey. But deep down in his soul he know he was something more. Yes all the other monkeys thought he was crazy and would call him names. The monkey was ashamed. He knew that he was nothing more then a stinky, poo flinging, banana eating monkey. He knew that he was supposed to eat bananas and swing from trees, but what he really wanted to do was swim and eat fish! So one day this monkey decided to go out from the jungle and find out where he could do these things. Yes, this monkey went to the public library. And he looked through books upon books. But being a monkey he looked in all the wrong places. Everyday he would go back to the library. And everyday he would get a little more discouraged. He NEVER gave up hope. He knew that if he was persistent that he would one day come across the information that he was looking for. Then One day It happened. He found a book on penguins. Oh how that monkey danced and sang and rejoiced in the glory of the public library. The librarian, who would watch this monkey everyday came up to him and asked him what he was so happy about. He “oo oo ee ee aa aa’d” at her. Fortunately for this monkey the librarian had taken monkey 101 in university to become a monkey therapist. but her life had taken a different coarse. Which is another story for another time. She listened and told that monkey that there was a way to become a penguin. First he had to go down to the local wishing well and drink some of the water. Then after doing that every night at 9:45 and 34 seconds pm for 17 days he would then have to go and fast for another 44 hours. All the while meditating and thinking like the type of penguin he wanted to be. After that he was to start his journey to where their habitat was. And by the time he was to reach there he should be a penguin. So he did exactly that. He didn’t know that there were many types of penguins. But having a troubled librarian in his corner to help him, he decided to go and ask her for some help. She pointed him to the penguin section and he read all about the different kinds of penguins and decided to become a king penguin. After he thought about it and was sure that this was what he really wanted he was ready to continue on his unmonkey/ king penguin mission. Every night he would go down to the local wishing well and drink some water at exactly 9:45 and 34 seconds pm. He did this for 17 days. After he had done this, he fasted for another 44 hours. Then he booked a flight to the sub-Antarctic islands and off he went. Oh how the monkey meditated and hoped and wanted to become more then monkey. And sure enough by the time he got to where he was headed he was in fact a penguin. He had evolved into something more then monkey. He went up to the penguins that were there and started talking to them, but what he never thought of was the language barrier. He didn’t know penguin. He only knew monkey. The penguins laughed and mocked him. And all that monkey thought was “ S H I T !!! I shoulda stayed a monkey.” The End little quiz from miss Renee[1] I have read a lot of books. [2] I have been on some sort of varsity team. [] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping. [3] I have been to Canada. [4] I have been to Europe. [5] I have watched cartoons for hours. [6] I have tripped UP the stairs. [7] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs. [8] I have been snowboarding/skiing. [9] I have played ping pong. [10] I swam in the ocean. [] I have been on a whale watch. [11] I have seen fireworks. [12] I have seen a shooting star. [13] I have seen a meteor shower. [14] I have almost drowned. [15] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear. [16] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again. [17] I have had stitches. [18] I have had frostbite. [19] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there. [20] I have stayed up 'til 2 doing homework/projects. [21] I currently have a job. [22] I have been ice skating. [23] I have been roller blading. [24] I have fallen flat on my face. [25] I have tripped over my own two feet. [26] I have been in a fist fight. [27] I have played video games for more than 3 hours straight. [28] I have watched the Power Rangers. [] I attend Church regularly. [29] I have played truth or dare. [30] I have already had my 16th birthday. [31] I have already had my 17th birthday. [32] I've called someone stupid. [33] I've been in a verbal argument. [34] I've cried in school. [] I've played basketball on a team. [] I've played baseball on a team. [] I've played football on a team. [] I've played soccer on a team. [] I've done cheerleading on a team. [] I've played softball on a team. [35] I've played volleyball on a team. [ ] I've played tennis on a team. [ 36] I've been on a track or cross country team. [37] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life. [] I've bungee jumped. [] I've climbed a rock wall. [38] I've lost more than $20. [39] I've called myself an idiot. [40] I've called someone else an idiot. [41] I've cried myself to sleep. [42] I've had (or have) pets. [] I've owned a spice girls CD. [43] I've owned a Britney Spears CD. [] I've owned an N*Sync CD. [] I've owned a Backstreet Boys CD. [44] I've mooned someone. [45] I have sworn at someone of authority before. [46] I've been in the newspaper. [47] I've been on TV. [] I've been to Hawaii. [] I've eaten sushi. [48] I've been on the other side of a waterfall. [49] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies. [50] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies. [] I've watched all of the Rocky movies. [51] I've watched the 3 Stooges. [52] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica. [53] I've watched Looney Tunes. [54] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers. [55] I've been called a geek. [56] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. [57] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it. [58] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs. [59] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours. [60] I've met a celebrity/music artist. [61] I've written poetry. [] I've been arrested. [62] I've been attracted to someone much older than me. [] I've been tickled till I've cried. [] I've tickled someone else until they cried. [63] I've had/have siblings. [64] I've been to a rock concert. [65] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it. [66] I've been in a play. [] I've been picked last in gym class. [67] I've been picked first in gym class. [68] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class. [69] I've cried in front of my friends. [70] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages [] I've played Halo 2. [71] I've freaked out over a sports game. [] I've been to Alaska. [] I've been to China. [] I've been to Spain. [] I've been to Japan. [72] I've had a fight with someone on IM. [73] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face. [74] I've had serious conversations on any IM. [75] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me. [76] I've been forgiven. [77] I've screamed at a scary movie. [78] I've cried at a chick flick. [79] I've watched a lot of action movies. [80] I've screamed at the top of my lungs. [] I've been to a rap concert. [] I've been to a hip hop concert. [81] I've lived in more than 2 houses. [82] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway. [83] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day. [84] I've been in a car accident. [85] I've done drugs. [86] I've been homesick. [87] I've thrown up. [88] I've puked on someone. [89] I've been horseback riding. [90] I've filled out more than 50 surveys. [91] I've spoken my mind in public. [92] I've proved someone wrong. [93] I've been proven wrong by someone. [94] I've broken a leg. [95] I've broken an arm/fingers. [96] I've fallen off a swing. [97] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight [98] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies. [99 I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school. [100've lost my backpack. [101]I've come close to dying. [102]I've seen someone die. [103] I've known someone who has died. [104] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point. [105] I've done modeling. [106] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings. [107] I've taken something/someone for granted. [108] I've realized how good my life is. [109] I've counted my blessings. [110] I've made fun of a classmate. [111] I've been asked out by someone and I said no. [112] I've slapped someone in the face. [113] I've been skateboarding. [114] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend. [115] I've lied to someone to their face. [116] I've told a little white lie. [117] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane. [118] I've fainted. [119] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not. [120] I've pushed someone into a pool [121] I've been pushed into a pool. [122] I've been/am in love. I am back and better then everSo I had a bunch of things that I had to take to the dump. And I felt like a very empowered woman in doing so... Hee Hee. But I went and took all my old crap out of my back yard and off to the dump we went.
And WOW.
WOW...
WOW!!!!
I decided that I am going to go down to City Hall and apply to become a garbage girl. There are some FINE men that take away my garbage. I have always had a cute garbage man around. But after going there yesterday and seeing them all at once I am going to become one myself.
My ex husband chuckled and said "April, I always knew you had a thing for garbage men. Have fun with it."
And my dear Tubby says this morning "What is it with you and garbage men?"
So there I have it. I was destined to be a garbage girl. HEE HEE So this is what's up...Where to begin… Well I guess the part where I left off would be good. When life on lifes terms knocks you down it is best to just roll with the punches.
My husband and I are no longer together. We split up in February. It was my choice. Things were not working out as they should have. I married too young and we ended up growing in different directions. I am okay. Things are going better then they were there for a moment in time there. But finding time for the simple pleasures is hard to do sometimes. I have missed everyone so very much. So here I am once again. I think I am ready to start doing what I enjoy without feeling guilt. Some things that have happened to me since I was here last: I have gained some new friends. I have some old friends back in my life. I will be going to school in September. My neighbour runs a day home and she has room for my kids. YAY I met a male friend I went on an amazing road trip to some natural hot springs. I went through this retreat that has let me forgive me for everything that has happened in my 24 years of life. I am going to go to Vancouver for a wedding in July. I am going to go camping with my wife/roomy. We started a swear jar and we are going to use the funds to buy the supplies for the camping trip. My hair is not pink anymore. Its PURPLE!!!!!!!!!!! I got new glasses and sun glasses for my big 24. Thanks DADDY. And I got my Monroe and my dimple pierced. I likes them LOTS Some things that have not been so good in my life. My family cant except my decision when it came to my marriage. I got jealous when my ex told me he met a lady… Why I did, I do not know. My children are still adjusting to the break. I am poorer the F*** My car keeps breaking. BOOOOOO So that is what has happened since I turned 24. My life has had to change and I had to take care of my family and learn to take care of me. I miss you and will be making more of an effort to take the time to share my me with all that I love and miss and don’t know in the msn space world. Love you all April Monday blog walk topic.So seeing as it is my 24th birthday today and I really just want to hide and DIE. Dissapear and deminish, I think I am going to ask something about some happier times.
What is one of your favourite things to do in your spare time? I missed you all so very muchHello everyone. I am sorry I haven’t been around. But my internet was down and out... Oh how I missed it. I will be back and running will full force tomorrow.. Just in time for the Thursday walk. Again my sincerest apologies. i don't get itThere are some things i dont get.. like this..
If you read this then that means that you read it..
They are spelt the same way.. WHY monday topic.What positive traits do you fell you bring out in others?
I sthere someone that you think has a positive affect on you?
Is there someone you know that always leaves you smiling after talking with them?
Is there someone that leaves you filled with negativity?
And is there someone you just don't have the heart to cut out of your life because of this?
I think I bring out all sorts of postitive things in others. I am faily open minded so people can tell me most anything and I will not judge. So I think people can be who they really are.. no masks on..
There are people all over the place that have a postive affect on me.. Right now it is my dear new found friend Weaver. He is the first person I have told most of my inner thoughts and feelings.
Again, this one belongs to Weaver. He is such an amazing writer, poet and thinking about him now brings a smile to my face.
That one person that just eet's to me no matter how hard I try to ignore it is my dear brother.. Errr.. I just .... SEE!!!
Again, this is my brother.. He is family and I take my family very seriously. Even if he is a 35 year old man who tells mommy on me mid week blogwalkWhat sort of Books to you enjoy reading?
Are you reading a book at present?
What is your favourite Book?
I enjoy reading all sorts of books.
Anything from a steamy romance novel to a thriller.
And everything and anything in between.
The best book I have read was
Summer sisters by Judy Blume.
and the book I am reading now
is Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.
i have read this book many, many times. But it always helps me when I do. |
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